At 12.21am this morning the sun shone directly on the equator and for a brief moment, night and day were in equal balance, well nearly anyway. In my experience, balance is an illusive and ephemeral concept, strived for but never quite attained. But every now and again, like today, it feels like I’m in the sweet spot and all is well with the world. This morning I woke to a perfect Spring day, sunny, 23 degrees with a slight breeze, yum! Its such a beautiful time of year on the farm. Everything is in bloom, the garlic is perking up after slow steady growth during winter, juicy turmeric and ginger is harvested and the kitchen garden is prepared and ready for new seedlings. In the past I barely noticed these in between moments of alchemy. I had my eye firmly on the horizon. As soon as the mystery evaporated from whatever I was doing, it was time to move on. Anything in between felt mundane, mediocre, of no interest. Life on the land can be one …
Lately I’ve felt that familiar anxious feeling, the one that comes each year with the onset of spring. To hurry up and get on top of things before summer hits and you’re under siege again. The cicadas are back, baby ants are hatching and spiders are busy making their webs with increased vigour. The natural world is stirring from its winter hibernation. My home, like the forests and river valley that surround me, has its own tiny ecosystem with its own seasonal ebbs and flows. I’ve come to realise that the arrival of these little creatures is a reminder to surrender to the things I can’t control. To accept that by choosing to live within nature I must adapt to my surroundings and not the other way around. I am the introduced species here after all. I’m resisting the urge to fight this invasion because like most things in life, its about balance, finding that elusive sweet spot.
This week I’ve been thinking a lot about thinking. I’ve spent years studying and working where what I could do with my mind was all that mattered. Thinking was what I did, my brain was good at it! But it took an off the cuff comment to make me really reflect on how reliant I’d become on my mind to do all of the heavy lifting. ‘Amanda you think too much’. So of course this kicked my mind into overdrive.
No better time than the first day of spring to write my first blog post right? Solar eclipse in Virgo, YES! Couldn’t be a more auspicious time to begin anew and trust the wisdom of the universe. But, I’ve spent all day procrastinating, fiddling with my wordpress theme and other acts of self sabotage, driven entirely by my fear of jumping into the great unknown of the blogosphere. I’ve moved countries and changed jobs, I moved HERE with much less angst but I’m finding this leap of faith particularly difficult. I’ve come to realise some of the most difficult hurdles are the ones we need to overcome in our own minds.